Funny Valentine's Day Jokes

Valentines Day is a day filled with love and romance. Believed to be the perfect day to say those three precious words "I Love You", everyone takes an extra step to express their feelings to that special one. Observed on 14th February all across the globe, celebrations generally include romantic evenings, proposals, and outings. How about trying something new this Valentine's Day instead of the same traditional ways to make your loved one happy? On this tender day, spread happiness and smiles all over by cracking jokes on Valentine's Day. Here in the following text, we bring you a rare collection of hilarious, funny, and entertaining jokes. These jokes would surely tickle the funny bones of your love and add a new spice to your romantic celebrations for the day.

Humorous Valentine's Day Jokes

"Ex" Valentine's
A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentine cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet displays of hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives."
The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an ‘ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods."
"Really?"
"Yes sir. They're called darts."

Meaning Of Dreams
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
Happy Valentine's Day!

A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
"Yes", came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag."
"That was very kind of you", Jim added, "I hope she appreciated the thought."
Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

My One and Only Love
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweler's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweler inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?"
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, and then answered, "No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love'."
The jeweler smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you."
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."

How long have you been married?
When a woman on the staff of the school became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.
"The first ten years are the hardest."
"How long have you been married?" she asked.
"Ten years", he replied.

Question and Answers for Valentine's Day
Q: What did the Valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who'?
A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Sweeter Side of Life
Boyfriend is like a chocolate, "Taste good always". Girlfriend is like Pizza, Hot n Spicy, "Delicious anytime". Wife is like the refrigerated leftovers, "Eaten when no choice". Husband is like a cooled off tea in a cup, "Headache on sip".

Ring in Wrong Finger
Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

A Food Valentine
Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?
You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.

Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our tulips meet.

Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.

I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my valentine.
Happy Valentines Day!